reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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