I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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