It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
