u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
