Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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