You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
