Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
