Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
