you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
