so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
