Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
