I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
