She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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