Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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