Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
