You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
