Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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