you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
