You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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