Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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