no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
