I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
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we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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