we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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