just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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