I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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