I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize