Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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