I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
