I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
