i don't like sucking hair
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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