That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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