I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize