her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize