apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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