Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
