Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think I died a long time ago.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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