Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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