We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
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I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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