First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
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