the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
