U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
