Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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