Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
