I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize