I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
