to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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