White coat. Heels.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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