make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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