Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize