we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?