but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.