So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
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Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.