Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
