He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
