Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
