I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize