i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize