You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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