I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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