omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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