I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
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I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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